


Going without you

by SammyKink



Category: Supernatural, Wincest - Fandom
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gay Sex, M/M, Mpreg, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:09:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27669359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SammyKink/pseuds/SammyKink
Summary: This is a meta-fic based on the recent Supernatural Series Finale Epic Finale CarryOn.The story is fiction, based on the meta elements found in the story. It was traumatic for me to write this fic as I never even read fics with a major character death but I was compelled to write this as this episode moved me and cried like a baby while watching it.I hope you like it. Please leave your comments below, if you do. Thank you.Love to you all.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Comments: 16
Kudos: 364





	Going without you

This night was different.

Dean was extra demanding that night, tackling Sam to bed as soon as they entered. Sam giggled and it felt definitely different, because he couldn’t remember the last time he had giggled like that.

They were feeling weirdly happy and elated.

The night was also going to be different because from now on, it was going to be just Dean, him and Miracle in the whole house.

They were finally free.

There was no god, who was sitting somewhere, watching them and manipulating their every move.

There was no angel, who used to loiter the bunker at nights, since he never slept.

There was no Jack too, the only person for whom they would try to keep it down.

Did they miss Cass and Jack? Yes, may be and its sad that Cass had sacrificed his life away for protecting them. They missed Jack more because he was their son for the last few years and they had grown fond of him.

But it wasn’t like they were gone from their lives completely. Jack had become God and he had resurrected Cass to assist him in fixing heaven. Cass was going to work with Jack to fix other AUs and their heavens, so they would be busy with their hands full. May be they would come visiting them for Christmas or thanksgiving? May be.

But it didn’t matter. Because now, Sam had his brother for himself. Like all the time. He and Dean had a talk in baby on their way home and Dean told Sam that may be it was time to hang in their boots as hunters and look for regular jobs. Sam had wondered why but he could see the reason behind his brother’s concern. Dean wanted to keep Sam safe and this was one of his ways for doing that. They don’t have anyone to protect them now and if there was, they weren’t sure to seek anyone’s help. They’ve done enough to fix the world and its now their turn to enjoy their lives.

Finally free.

Dean bit him under the ear and Sam yelped. “Ouch! Why, it seems like you are in a great mood today?”

Dean grunted as he swiped his tongue across Sam’s collarbone before replying, “Can you blame me Sammy? It’s been years since we had this kind of privacy. It feels great to be just you and me again.”

“And Miracle,” corrected Sam as he looked at the dog that was sitting at the foot of the bed, watching them.

“Don’t mind him. I already told him that I was going to be busy with my baby brother. He gave a friendly bark, which I think means, he’s okay with it. Only thing is, I think he likes to watch,” chuckled Dean as he looked at Miracle with a smile.

Sam laughed. “So long he doesn’t mind, I don’t.”

“Then, you have nothing to worry. Because miracle wants daddy to be happy.” Dean smiled as he hugged Sam and turned him to face him. He started to breathe hard as he started to unbutton Sam’s shirt. Sam lay there, watching Dean and let himself be disrobed. He loved this part of their lovemaking, because, it gave him ample time to watch Dean in action while he was lying there idle. He can watch his brother’s handsome face focused in getting him undressed, his strong muscles and the love in his eyes for Sam.

Oh Gosh! Just how much he loved Dean. He was the most lucky person in the world because Dean belonged only to him. There have been endless list of women who had shown interest in Dean in the past few years but Dean hadn’t reciprocated. Not since the night they got committed to each other in the church. Sam sighed at the memory. It was another beautiful night of endless lovemaking. They both went absolute bonkers for each other. Sam would remember that night forever in his life.

He couldn’t continue his thoughts because Dean had removed his own clothes now and sitting there butt naked showing off his impressive physique. The way his muscles rolled in his arms as he maneuvered Sam to position; Sam couldn’t stop admiring his brother and his immense splendor that’s all his.  
As Dean found Sam’s eyes go up and down on him, he pulled him up for a kiss. “Oh god, it feels so nice to finally take you in my arms like this, Sammy. How many weeks has it been?”

“Months,” said Sam as he moaned into Dean’s mouth.

“Shouldn’t let that happen again,” said Dean as his mouth started to travel down Sam’s body, sucking in skin and leaving bite marks in its wake.

Soon, they got into the familiar routine in the bed. Sam was on his back, lubed and spread as Dean reached to the side table drawer for his condom.

“Wait,” said Sam, holding on to Dean’s wrist.

“What?” questioned Dean as he looked at him impatiently.

“I…I thought that we don’t need condoms anymore.”

Dean sat back on his heels and cocked his eyebrow, “You want me to bareback you Sammy?”

“I was thinking, yeah.”

“But we decided long back that we won’t do that, didn’t we? I can’t put you at any risk, Sammy.”

“Dean, that was long ago. But we both know that we have been committed to each other for years now. And things are different now. We are finally free, remember? I want tonight to mark the occasion that we belong to each other and no one can come between us.”

“I know that sweet heart. I have always been loyal to you, but this isn’t about that. It’s generally not advisable to bareback. There are other dangers involved. I don’t want to put you in any sort of risk, baby.”

“Dean, its fine. I love you more than anything in this world and I know you love me the Same way. If our love is true, then there isn’t anything in this world that would affect us. I completely believe in our love.”

Dean was overcome with emotion as he came crashing his lips down on Sam and they both kissed passionately. “Yes, I believe in our true love too, Sammy. Our love can cause miracles to happen.” Dean took Sam’s shivering body in his as he prepped him once again before he started to enter him.

They have had sex a million times before this and every time had been a truly marvelous experience for Sam, but he could swear that this time was different. It was not just marvelous but simply sensational. He didn’t remember how many times he came or how he screamed Dean’s name during those times. By the time they were done and spent and slept in each other’s arms, it was well past midnight.

The next day was the usual. Sam went back to his own bedroom to bathe and change as Dean was still sleeping in his bedroom. He went to the kitchen to make Dean’s special pancakes and bacon as Dean came behind him and hugged him.

“Hmm, something smells good,” he said groggily, in his sleepy voice.

“I’m making your favorite today. Bacon and pancakes.”

“No, sweet heart, I meant you. You smell great as usual.”

Sam laughed in spite of himself. “Aren’t you a smooth player. You certainly know how to make me blush.”

Dean laughed as he went to take bath.

Later, as they finished their domestic chores and sitting at their work table, Dean brought up a new case involving vampires.

“Hmm, I thought you said that you are going to ditch hunting and settle down with white collar jobs?”

“Yeah, Sammy! I’ve not forgotten that. I have applied for a job yesterday and I’m waiting to hear from them. But this case has small children involved and I want us to save them. This would be our last hunt after which we would settle down, I promise you.”

Sam thought about it. As Dean said, they could save those small children with this case and that would also mark the last of their successful hunt. He sighed, “Okay, do you have any leads?”

Dean said that they had some trivia about the creatures from john’s diary and Sam did his own research to gather more details. Once they did their preliminary work, they set off for their hunt.

It looked like an usual hunt. Dangerous, but doable, as usual.

They saved the kids involved. They killed all the vampires. But then, just when Sam thought that they could finally leave to their home and have a night cuddled in each other’s warmth, things started to go horribly wrong.

Horribly, horribly wrong.

Sam did not know how many days had passed.

He was lying cradled on the bed like a baby, ranting Dean’s name again and again, being completely delirious in his fever dream.  
He couldn’t stop seeing Dean in his dreams, attached to that railing by the rebar, bleeding and dying in his arms. And every time Sam tried to help him, he couldn’t, as Dean died every time, leaving Sam alone, shivering and shaking in the thick cold of the barn.

Dean’s words were reverberating in his brain, eating him alive. “Sammy, look at me. You need to promise me that you’d continue to live on without me. And you need to promise to let me go. Please, Sammy, promise me now!”

And he had promised him. That he will live on, even without his soulmate to keep him company. To go on, even when the love of his life was not going to be with him anymore.

He had Miracle with him for the first few days, hugging the dog and crying his eyes out, but he just couldn’t go on with it anymore and left him at one of his hunter friend’s house. They had a loving family and two beautiful children who loved him and took him immediately in their care. Sam left their house without looking back. Right now he had no love to give anyone. Right now he had no will to live.

What’s worse was Sam had let Dean go. He had let his lover, his soulmate and the love of his life die on him, while Sam stood there crying and hurting but unable to help. He had let his lover’s body burn on the pyre while he was watching it stone faced, zoned out of everything, feeling utterly numb.

Sam let out a blood curdling, agonizing scream out of his throat, the first one that he did, after days of silent mourning. The shrill cry tore through the entire bunker and rebounded on the walls. He continued to wail and cry, rocking his body back and forth like a child in unbearable pain. The tears were flowing continuously with no reason to stop as he flailed his head on the pillow as if that could help alleviate his pain.

Nothing helped. He was gone.

And Sam didn’t have any reason to go on.

He hadn’t eaten in days. He saw a skeleton with gaunt eyes and pale skin as he passed the bathroom mirror that morning and he was confident that if he let it continue for a few more days, he could finally let himself go and join his brother in heaven.

Yes, he had promised that he will live on, but only as long that his body could bear on its own. Beyond that, he was not going to do anything to sustain himself. If he let himself starve and dehydrate, he can leave this wretched world and join his brother in his heaven.

Just then, his stomach started to feel queasy and without warning, he started to retch all over the floor. He hadn’t eaten anything since then, so the puke was just liquid without any remnants of food, but for some reason, he just couldn’t stop retching.

It was getting dark outside, as he could sense by the deepening of the shadows and the dimming of light through the windows. Sam laid there on his bed like a battered leaf, just about to wither and fall off the branch. He could hardly see anything clearly now as his eyesight had dimmed along with his other senses.

He was barely holding on to life, waiting for the sweet relief of death to take him to his brother, when he felt another presence in the room.

A familiar presence.

“Dean?” he whispered in his raspy voice. “Is.. that.. you?”

“No, It’s me,” said the voice……… “It’s Jack.”

“J..ack?”

“Yes, Sam. It’s me. And what are you trying to do? Kill yourself?”

Sam didn’t reply. He found an unexplainable wretchedness spur inside him as tears welled up in his eyes. He screwed up enough of whatever strength was left in him, “Jack… do you know that Dean… died? He… left… me..”

“Yes, I know. But you can’t do this. Dean wouldn’t have wanted this, Sam.”

Sam’s bottled up anger finally found a release as he spoke through clenched teeth, “Don’t.. tell me ..what to.. do. Where were you, when he.. needed you? …..Get lost.. Jack, you are… useless ..to me.”

“Sam, I understand what you are going through. And at other times, I would have let you do this, but not in this case.”

“And …what makes you think… I’ll listen to you?” Sam’s voice was a whisper.

“You don’t have to listen to me but you can listen to reason,” said Jack as he came closer and sat next to Sam on bed.

“What.. reason?”

“Sam, do you have any regrets in this world?”

As the question sank in, Sam’s eyes started to well up again. “I couldn’t save him…. I couldn’t help him the only time he needed my help….. After all the time he took care of me when I was little and protected me at every step of my life, I couldn’t return the favor….. That’s my regret…..”

Sam started to weep now, his body quaking with rib racking sobs.

Jack placed a comforting hand on Sam’s back and said, “And that’s why you can’t die now, Sam. You know what happens to souls who have unfulfilled regrets on earth? They become ghosts and until they fulfill those they don’t get into heaven.”

Sam blinked his eyes and stared at Jack.

“Yes, that’s why you have to live on until you do that and then you can leave this earth to be with your brother.”

“But I.. cant. He has ..already gone. How… will I ever do …this?”

“He’s not entirely gone, Sam. A fragment of him lives in you.”

“What are.. you saying?”

“You are pregnant with Dean’s baby, Sam. And you will get a chance at raising his baby so that you can fulfil your destiny on earth.”

Sam screwed his face in to a deep scowl as he said, “How can I become pregnant, Jack? I’m a man. I can’t be.”

“You undermine the value of your own true love, Sam. Your true love can make miracles happen. And I granted you a miracle for you to nurture Dean’s baby inside your body. You can have his baby and give him a life to live on.”

“How.. how is that even possible? Jack, I’m not a woman, I don’t have the… equipment for any of that.”

“When the time comes to birth the child, I’ll come to help, Sam. For now, take care of yourself. Here, drink the soup I made for you.” Jack helped Sam to sit up and fed him some soup, scooping spoon after spoon in to his mouth.

“Think of this as a penance to reach your brother in heaven. It will happen soon. Bye for now Sam.”

Jack was gone the next instant.

Sam sat there in silence, trying to assimilate all that information while having only darkness around him to give him company.

Months had passed. Sam stomach looked more and more like an oversized basketball.

Sam had stocked the bunker with enough food for months as he hardly got out of the bunker for anything other than for emergency circumstances. And after his stomach started to show, he couldn’t go out, lest becoming the rare sight on the road for everyone to stare at.

He maintained a calendar at home and been diligently counting the days as they rolled into weeks and those weeks roll into months. Sam waited patiently. If this was his penance to finally join his brother in heaven, then yes, he will wait even if it’s for an eternity.

Days passed.

Sam woke up one morning with a searing pain in the abdomen. He bit his lower lip and counted to ten as he found the pain dissipate only to come back at intervals. With a thudding heart, Sam realized that he was going into labor and he didn’t know what to do.

When the pain became unbearable and relentless, he fell on top of the bed and tightly clutched the bed underneath with his fingers, screaming out. He didn’t know how he was going to deliver a baby because he had no apparatus for the baby to come out. He had no idea what Jack meant when he said that he would come to help him deliver. He knew he should call him now, but he didn’t even get a break from the constant pain that was tearing him from under. Just then, there was another white hot pain that jolted him and he let out a loud scream that reverberated through the bunker. He continued to wail as the pain was relentless and showed no hints of abiding.

Sam couldn’t see things clearly as his body was racked by flashes hot searing pain and then it came. A blinding pain, a mother of all, that cut through his body in half and he felt himself impaled by the enormity of it as he screamed out Dean’s name. The next second, the pain was gone, like it never existed and it was instead replaced by the cries of a tiny baby.

Sam opened his eyes to see Jack sitting beside him holding his baby that was crying insistently. He sat up slowly, expecting to see blood and gore coming out of his stomach but there was nothing. He was intact like he was before he conceived the baby. He tentatively touched his stomach and groin to make sure the baby didn’t come out that way.

Jack smiled at him. “Sam, here’s your baby.” Jack handed over the baby that was wrapped in a blue cloth and placed it in Sam’s arms. “Sorry I couldn’t make it here earlier, it was your destiny to feel the pleasure and the pain of creating your baby and I couldn’t meddle with that.”

“How… how did this happen?”

“Your child birth? Let’s say that’s another miracle of your pure and true love towards Dean. I took the liberty to take him out exactly when the time came.”

“It’s a boy?” Sam felt his eyes well with tears. “It’s Dean. I’m going to name him Dean Winchester.”

Jack smiled. “Well, he’s yours now. You can call him whatever you want. And from now on, you will take all the responsibility of taking care of him. He’s all yours now, Sam.”

Sam looked at the baby with love and realized that he had Dean’s features. “Hey,” he said to Jack, “He looks like Dean.”

“Of course he will. He is his child, after all. Okay, this is where I’ll take leave. Take care of yourself and the baby, Sam. If there’s anything you want, just pray to me.”

“Wait,” yelled Sam. He looked at Jack and he couldn’t see in him the 3 year old child that he and Dean brought up together. This Jack was different. Like he looked wise far beyond his years on earth.

“You’ve changed a lot, Jack. I can’t believe you were just a little kid that I and Dean cared for.”

Jack smiled. “I’ll always be your first child, Sam. But I just have too many things to take care of. And I’ll always be indebted to you and Dean for saving and protecting me when it was required. Also, here, I got you a bag of baby food and groceries.” He magically produced a big carton of food all neatly stacked along with the necessary things that Sam might need for months. “Now see you, Sam. All the best with your kid.” He disappeared the next instant.

Tears flowed down Sam’s cheeks as he realized that he was once again on his own and he never missed Dean’s company more than now. He had had Dean’s baby but Dean wasn’t here to experience the miracle. It was truly tragic and Sam wept hugging little Dean Winchester Jr.

Sam couldn't remember the last time he ate a complete meal. All the savings that he had accumulated with Dean had come to an end. And the expenses for buying formula and the nappies made him suffocate.

He looked at the cute little toddler, playing on the kitchen floor, while he was trying to put a meal together.  
He had to eat in order to survive so that he can take care of Dean Jr.

He took the last piece of stale bread and applied the remaining of the peanut butter on top of it, before taking it to the dining table. He sat down heavily as his exhaustion took hold of him and he momentarily dozed off only to be awoken to the sounds of his son crying.

"Hey Dean Jr, what's up?" He sighed as he picked the child up and checking to see if he was alright.  
He looked into the greenest eyes of his kid and for a moment he forgot his worries. The kid looked just like Dean. He had the Same eyes, freckles and demeanor and for a moment his love for him grew exponentially and he kissed him on the cheeks.

Looking at the still uneaten stale bread in the plate, he told himself, "this can't go on. I need to go to work."

He went to Dean's desk drawer and pulled the application that Dean had filled for himself for a job. He took it and went to his laptop to type in his details and clicked on apply.

There was always the easy way out. He can go for hunting and use unfair means to earn some money. But Dean Jr. was in care and he can't afford to get frisky.

He took Dean Jr with him to the bed and laid on the bed.

His and Dean's bed.

He turned his head to the side and deeply inhaled Dean's musk that was still present in the deep layers of their bedding.

His eyes welled up and as he put his son to sleep, tears streaming down his cheeks like an uncontrollable waterfall.

With a heavy heart, he hugged his child and fell asleep in the bed.

Years had passed. Sam had been working as a manager in a firm that was paying him a steady income enough to take care of himself and Dean Jr.

He had appointed a nanny to take care of him while he went out to work and his work kept him otherwise busy.

He spent all his leisure time with little Dean Jr, helping him in math and sports while still mourning the loss of Dean in his heart.

He still kept the impala locked in the garage and he never used it once. From time to time, he used to go, sit in the passenger seat, pretend that Dean’s driving and telling him jokes. At other times he sat on Dean’s seat, gently caressing the steering wheel, and imagining Dean’s hands on him. And then he would cry, sitting there, for hours on end.

Sam didn't date anyone after Dean passed. That one time Dean Jr's nanny made a pass at him, he told her in certain terms that he wasn't interested. That shut her up and she never broached the topic again. There was only one person that he would matter the most to him and that was Dean Winchester.

The pain and misery of the loss never went away. The ache had only become bigger with time and he knew that the enormous grief was taking a toll on him.

The last time he passed a mirror, he stared at himself in the reflection and saw an old man who had lots of grey hair. His eyes still looked haunted, his face gaunt. His cheeks were hollow and his skin sallow. He knew death was slowly coming at him, bit by bit and he couldn’t wait for the day it would engulf him completely so that he could relieve himself from living this torturous life. The only thing that kept him alive was his son who was still small and dependent on him.

Years passed. Dean Jr. was 19 and was very much a man himself now. He had a girlfriend and moved out of the house to live with his girlfriend. He visited Sam during the weekends when Sam cooked for both him and his girlfriend.

There were times that Sam had the urge to confide in his son about his past and his relationship with Dean. He almost told him at times when he was low on endurance and frantically wanted someone to confide in. But he always stopped himself at the last minute. As he knew his son, he had the same thirst and blind courage like Dean and he would try taking up the hunter’s profession if given the chance.

As it is, Sam had to try so hard to keep a straight face during dinners when Dean Jr and his girlfriend discussed matters of the occult and things that were supernatural. Dean Jr. turned out to be a believer, fiercely believing in supernatural things and with a sinking heart, Sam realized that opening up to him about his past would surely spur him in pursuing in that direction. And Sam wanted none of that.  
The hunters business should end with him and Dean. He didn’t want their son to indulge in it and put himself or his family in danger.

It was a Monday morning when it happened. Sam was late to work and he was driving through a busy junction when someone from the opposite side lost control and collided head on with Sam’s car.

Sam hit his head hard on the steering wheel and had bled a lot by the time he was admitted in the ICU. He was attached on to lifesaving machines and was lying unconscious for the last several days. The doctors had given up hope and told Dean Jr. that only a miracle could save his father now.

Sam was attached to a myriad of wires to provide with food and oxygen. His face was impassive and showed no expression except that he was dreaming about a paradise where he was walking towards the light. The path was long and winding and there was tremendous light coming from the other end. As he was nearing the end, he could see someone sitting in a car that looked a lot like…. Dean!

Sam started to walk faster and as he neared the end he started to break into a run. He could easily see the number plate of their impala that read Kansas and he could see the driver who was looking directly at him smile….. It was Dean!!

There were just a few more yards to cross to the threshold and reach Dean when he suddenly started to feel weird. It was like he was walking but had stopped moving. Even as he watched in horror, the path became more long winding and distant in front of him and the next instant, he was sucked back the same path he came until he landed somewhere in a thud. With a beating heart, Sam opened his eyes!

“Hi Sam, How are you?”

It was Jack, standing to Sam’s right, close to his hospital bed, with a smile on his face.

With a sinking heart, Sam realized that he was back in the hospital now, his paradise with Dean long gone from his reach.

Sam started to slur his words as he frantically wanted to go back, “No, no, no, no. Jack! Send me back to my Dean, at once. I saw …him. He was there. I want to go back.” He started to cry as bitter tears started to fall down his cheeks and wet the pillow beneath him.

“Sure! Before I send you back there, I want to know if you are sure about this. Because look, your son has been praying to me for the past several hours to not take his father away from him. He says he is not ready to lose you. Do you still want to leave, Sam?”

Sam fell silent as he watched outside the glass partition which lead to the outer room. He could see Dean Jr. sitting on the vinyl chair, his arms clasped and his eyes closed in a silent prayer. He could see his lips moving as he was praying frantically to keep Sam alive.

Sam closed his eyes in defeat. He can’t leave. Not now. Not yet.

He opened his eyes with despair as he silently shook his head. “No Jack. I can’t leave now.”

“Good, that’s what I guessed.”

The next instant, Jack disappeared and Sam felt much of his pain leave his body. The heart monitor started to beep healthily as his hands reached for the nurse’s call button.

A few more years had passed.

It was a cold night. A lot reminiscent to the night Dean died. Sam always had trouble during and around the time of Dean’s death anniversary. And this time, it was due in a 2 days and he had already started to feel the jitters of the impending day. He went to his bedroom as was the norm of his usual ritual and sat on his bed. He opened the bottom most drawer of his bed side table and took out the wooden box and placed it in front of him on the bed before opening it.

Dean Jr. was increasingly getting worried about his father. He and his girlfriend Lucy had had conversations about Sam’s failing health for a long while now. He knew that something was bothering his father all his life, but for the life of him, Dean Jr. couldn’t understand what it was. His father never discussed about his past and brushed it off every time he asked about it. He was particularly secretive about his brother Dean and what happened to him. But he knew that his father held him in high regards and spoke almost reverently about him.

And for the last month, his father’s health had failed a lot. His pulse was low and the doctors were worried that his heart wasn’t functioning well. They told him that a surgery could help but he had to be strong enough to come out of that successfully. But the most bizarre thing that the doctor told him was something that was bothering him for a while too. For being just 63 years old, his father showed aging that was at par with someone who was 80 years old. His organs were failing and the doctors were puzzled by it.

As Dean Jr. started to ascend the stairs to carry the soup he made to feed his father, he resolved to discuss the matter with him. But as he neared his bedroom door, he stopped and listened. His father was talking to someone and his muddled voice sounded troubled and desolated.

What’s happening? Has he started to hallucinate? Dean Jr. Left the soup on the nearby table and was about to knock on the door when he realized that the door wasn’t entirely closed. He touched it gently and pushed it back so as to not disturb his father. If anything he did not want to startle him.

The door opened silently and Dean Jr. saw his father sitting on the bed, his back facing the door. There was something in front of him on the bed to whom he was speaking to and Dean edged closer to the bed until he was right behind him.

Obviously he hadn’t heard him but that could be due to his loss of hearing too, for his father was weeping and sobbing, his back racking in sobs as he picked a picture from the top of his bed.

He held it in front of him as he said, “I can’t go without you anymore Dean. I know you need me too. I’m getting dreams about you every night , waiting for me at heaven’s door. Dreams of you calling me to come and join you in heaven. And I promise you that I am at the end of my rope. I really want to die so that I can be with you forever. I’m not lying. Remember the last time I saw you at the heaven’s door? I could have reached you but Jack brought me back. Dean Jr., our son, Dean prayed to him for me to be brought back, so I had to stay behind.”

Dean Jr. stood transfixed as he stared at the photo in his dad’s hand and recognized that to be his brother Dean after whom he was named. But how is it possible that he was their son? Was dad talking sense or had he lost it?

His father continued to rant amidst his sobs, “Remember, when you died, you asked me to let you go, Dean? And I’ll leave this place on earth to come and live with you once our son lets me go. I promise okay? Please, until that, hold out for me. I love you Dean. I’ve loved no one else ever since you died. Our love is pure. Even Jack said so. Which is why I became pregnant with our son. This is all for you. I’m doing this for you….”

His dad fell unconscious on the bed holding the photo in his hand close to his chest and Dean Jr. ran to hold him. Frantically, he checked his pulse which was only barely there. He left him on the bed, while with a thudding heart, he ran down the stairs to call for an ambulance.

Dad had been admitted in the hospital for the last 2 days, his condition very critical. His heart was failing but the doctors weren’t able to find anything wrong with it this time. He was only holding on to life by a thread and honestly the doctors didn’t know what was keeping him alive.

Dean Jr. straightened up and stretched himself. He’s been at this for the last 2 days and still he had not completed the amount of literature that his dad had stored in his secret den. After admitting his dad in the hospital, he came up to his room to clean the mess when he found pictures of Dean and their parents’ pictures amongst the pictures of another gentleman whom he couldn’t recognize. Apart from the pictures, there was a key kept underneath it all in a leather pouch.

He took the key and tried to match it with all his dad’s possessions until he found this secret den that was behind the cupboard in his dad’s study. There, he found literature dating back to few generations making it clear what sort of business his dad and his brother were into.

He was surprised to know that his dad, who had not once mentioned about ghosts while he used to eagerly talk about it, was fully into exorcism and hunting supernatural things. There was mention of a Jack who was the current god and who his dad and Dean nurtured as a kid.

The most shocking thing for him though was discovering that his dad and his uncle Dean were actually lovers in real life and if what was written was to be believed, he was their lovechild. Which is impossible, he knew it, but which he couldn’t entirely brush off as bullshit.

But the rest of it all pointed towards being true, the anti-possession symbols tattooed on their chests, and such, so he didn’t know what to believe. He sighed and got up to lock the den. There was only one way to find out if this was true.

Sam was lying in the bed, being in and out of consciousness, constantly dreaming of Dean waiting for him on an over bridge in heaven. His senses had become quite dull and he had trouble seeing and hearing well, but he could see that Dean Jr. entering the room along with the doctor and the doctor was trying to tell him something.

“Mr. Winchester, your son Dean is here to see you. I hope you can have a brief interaction with him for a few minutes and if you find it distressing in any manner please let us know.”

Sam nodded his head feebly and tried to smile at Dean Jr.

“Ho.w…are…you do..ing, son?” he asked with exertion as Dean Jr. came and sat on the edge of the bed. He simply smiled at him with empathetic eyes as he put his hand over his.

It was then that Sam noticed. Dean Jr. had an anti-possession tattoo marked on his arm.

Sam looked up at his son in alarm. “Wha…t?”

“Shhh… Don’t get alarmed dad.” He smiled and then said, “I met Jack.”

Sam felt like a bulldozer hit him. He stared at him with disbelieving eyes as Dean Jr. assured him, “There’s nothing to worry, dad. I know everything now.” He paused and then said hesitantly, “I know who my other dad is.”

Sam’s eyes got wide as the horror hit him that his son found out all about him. “Dea.. I..am… sorry..to have… kept ..secrets… from ..you.” Sam was breathing hard as he finished saying that.

“Shh. Don’t over exert yourself. I just came to tell you that it’s okay for you to leave.” Dean Jr. said as his eyes welled up with tears. “Dad, you have done so much for me. Jack told me the sacrifices you and dad did in order to save the world. And I’m indebted to you just as much as the other people on earth. You did a marvelous job with your life on earth. And now it’s your time to give up and rest and join dad in heaven, while my job on earth is just beginning.”

Sam listened silently but tears started to flow down freely. “You… met .. Jack?”

“Yes. After I discovered about these, I decided to confront god as was written in your diary. I went in not expecting much because who would in their right mind expect god to show up. But the son of a bitch showed up. He showed up and took me out for a walk while explaining everything to me. I now know everything and I want to assure you that I don’t judge you both for anything you did. If anything, I’m proud of you, dad. You both had been heroes. You saved the world.” Dean Jr. smiled, tears flowing down his face. “And don’t worry about me. Jack is here to teach me things and to take care of me. So now I want you to live out your afterlife happily with dad in heaven. I’m letting you go dad. You are finally free now.”

Sam smiled. “I’m sorry I should have told you this earlier…. But I’m glad you found out…. I wish you a very happy and fulfilling life, son….. May you live and prosper…” Sam stopped talking as his hand under Dean Jr.’s grasp fell lifeless. His face was impassive except for a small tear that run down as a satisfied expression came over his still face.

“Good bye to you too, dad!” Dean Jr. said as he burst into tears hugging his dad’s lifeless body.

Sam ran at full speed as much as his legs would take him. He couldn’t understand. He died on a hospital bed, old and tired, but here he was young again, wearing the same clothes he wore the day he met Dean at Stanford.

He didn’t even stop to check himself, he kept running until he could see the outline of the impala waiting for him at the threshold to heaven. He slowed down until he walked, as his heart thudded in his chest for the exciting, biggest moment he had been waiting for. He neared the gate of the threshold and as he crossed it, bright light hit him from all sides and for a few seconds, he couldn’t see anything. Then it all cleared and he realized that he was on the over bridge, surrounded by the most beautiful scenery he had ever seen.

He frantically looked around and as the mist cleared around him, the silhouette of the impala came into view. He ran to the impala, hoping to find Dean but there was no one inside the car.

But then, he sensed his presence. Like a magnet. Instantly he knew where he was. He walked to the side of the railing and there he was, his other half, standing at the side of the railing, his back to him, overlooking the scenery.

He walked slowly behind him and stood a few feet away from him. He knew Dean would sense him. Just as he did.

And lo and behold, he did. “Hey Sammy!” he said as he turned towards him.

His Dean.

Who sacrificed his life for him endless number of times and who loved him more than anything in the whole world. And he looked just the same. Handsome as ever.

“Hey Dean!” said Sam as he walked to him without taking his eyes away.

They both hugged passionately and it was the best moment of Sam’s life. For Dean too. They both stood hugging each other as tears streamed down their faces. “I finally got ya,” said Dean as he pressed his lips to Sam’s. Sam kissed him like his life depended on him. “I missed you,” Sam said as he hugged Dean again and wept in his shoulders. “Don’t you ever leave me like that and go anywhere again.”

“I won’t, I promise. Not anymore. This is our personal heaven. I took a short drive through the wilderness until you arrived. C’mon with me and I’ll show you around,” said Dean as he lead him to their baby.

They got in their car and Dean started the ignition. He looked at Sam, smiled and said, “Love you Bitch.” Sam laughed and added, “Love you too Jerk.”

And off they went, like they always did, like the true soulmates that they always were.

THE END  
_____________________________________________________________________________________

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Guys, 
> 
> I'm overwhelmed with your comments and kudos for this fic. This is my first fic that reached 200 kudos in a matter of days and I couldn't thank you all enough for it. I was hurting badly after watching the episode and hence wrote this fic in just a day. That's because, I saw so much Meta in the episode that I had the overwhelming need to pour out all my interpretations into this story and make the message reach as many shippers like me looking for answers.
> 
> Kudos to all the wincest shippers out there, we finally had a very satisfying and a perfect ending to 15 years of angst, pain and devotion between our favorite co-dependant brothers. The Epic love story of Sam and Dean will stay on forever in our hearts and in the fics that are going to be written in the years to come. Cheers!


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